Don’t make the following mistakes if you want to have happy and prosperous marital life. It is a strange question but the marital specialists say that having confidence on your abilities and desires is not a small mistake. It is a strange situation in Pakistan that we intend to make a girl our wife by looking her beauty and height and the relatives of the girl concentrate on the career, family background and financial status of the boy. In this way they make marriage a gamble and start playing with it. The relation of husband and wife is more interesting and strange but fulfilling the needs of this relation with much care and wisdom cannot be done by everybody. Whether you have thousands claims that your pair is very happy and imagining but in many aspects of life and in the time of trouble both are far away from each other. You have different behavior than your thought. Where the martial specialists give suggestions to the women there men are also advised to take care of some matters, at least the women shouldn’t make the following mistakes;
Don’t want attention on unsuitable occasions:
Having attention is a natural demand. The marital relation grows up by love and attention but there are some occasions of expressing love. When he comes back form the job and is tired or he is engrossed in thoughts and trying to resolve a problem or he is preparing for a meeting in urgency and if you start speaking romantic dialogues he may show the unwillingness because men have less diplomatic though than the women have. If he goes without giving proper response then the tears start flowing from your eyes at that time don’t blame him and these tears won’t become pearl for you instead these will be panic. Similarly in park or during driving it is not necessary that such lovely words will inspire him.
Give up the insistence to go with him on official tour:
If you think that you have been tired after working then first see the mode of your husband. He has to go outstation due to official matters & assignments and his schedule is also very tight. Then think can you live alone in the room of hotel in any strange city or country or can you go for useless walk in the hotel lobby. Would you believe that an innocent woman who wants to make the marital relation romantic asked her husband to go with him then this harsh dialogue was listened, “Don’t you trust me, will I take care of you or will I do my job? So why do you want to go with me as my bodyguard?” at that night for how long the woman wept nobody cared. You should wait for an invitation from him; it is a possibility that the expenses of travelling would not be affordable for romantic journey. If you don’t go with him your romantic relation will not be finished, eventually he will come back to you.
Don’t admire anyone:
Don’t admire any of your relatives or cousins or brother-in-laws in front of your husband even by mistake. By doing this you may be captured in big trouble.
I will change him:
It cannot be happened even how much you are dipped in the sea of love, the much you have trust on him, if he has the habit of smoking or something else which is considered as moral evil in our families, you cannot get him free from this habit after marriage by some magic, so making this claim is not suitable. He is indulged in some habits since long, gradually a decrease can be obtained in such habits and attempting something unusual at a sudden will not be easy. You cannot give up your bad habit unless you want to leave it yourself. For the time being somebody can be inspired by your love and conversation. However, if he wants to change himself by his intension then he will change himself, you have no need to take a stick or scale in your hand.
Marriage doesn’t mean to get a “Perfect Life partner”:
How it can be surly claimed even after selecting with proper investigation that your life partner is a complete man. Being punctual is such a quality which only some people have. If one of the life partners is punctual then the laziness and carelessness of the other is exposed. Such people are practical, active, dynamic and punctual and they desire that their other partner should also have these qualities. If somebody cannot control himself then he can be enraged after sometime. Psychological Specialist say that there is no prescription for the successful marital life but if a pair laughs and weeps together and have no opponent behavior and have no arguments, such pair can bring their matters in discussion by sitting on a side. Their behavior is flexible that they bear the habits of each other. Understanding the mode means the change in nature and then lead the relation with wisdom is such ability which can help us to get rid of many problems. (Muhammad Rizwan Khan, Peshawar)
