A few kind words with the wife can save you from paying doctor’s fee!

Ubqari Magazine - May 2016

We often find married couples saying: “in our married life now we don’t find the same passion and enthusiasm like we used to in the start of our marriage”. Often it is noticed that the love and care and passion that the couple has in the first days of marriage, gradually begins to dwindle with easy passing day later on. Even though this cannot be applied to all married couples, the number of men and women who complain of their significant others is also not less. It is also seen often that they become so unpleasant towards each other that they only respond to each other by ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and it seems as if despite living in the same house and under one roof, they are living as strangers, for example the same strangeness between those two strangers who are both sitting in the waiting room of the railway station waiting for the train to come.

Married life! It is dependent for its survival not only on mutual mental compatibility, full participation in the happy and sad moments of the other person, love and care, but also on mutual trust. However, there is hardly any couple who can say that they never fought, never argued over anything or disagreed over something, but despite all of this there still remains love between them. In married life sometimes unpleasant things happening is inevitable. There is an old saying that “where there are two utensils they will make noise” so it is acceptable that these utensils will collide and make noise but only for a little time. Now if this temporary clash is made a basis of some serious fight then married life will not only become wounded but also misunderstandings begin to settle. And if once misunderstandings begin to seep into the relations then the whole marriage is affected and becomes a question mark for the couple.

Why does cold attitude take birth in married life? There can be two reasons for it: one can be constant repetition of unpleasant and hurtful things or habits. Another can be the inability to mold oneself with time according to the other person’s lifestyle. As far as reason one is concerned, it is basically due to lack of the spouse to comprehend the other’s personality and moods. It is seen many a times that one partner is very sensitive and other very enthusiastic so it can be said if the personalities are not matched then even the slightest thing said can become a source of discomfort for the two. Other than that, snubbing the other on small things again and again, interrogation, unreasonably stubborn attitude can all contribute to becoming strangers. It’s not necessary that coldness is for a long time. Some people despite speaking a lot and being finicky have the ability to forget the big issues all at once after being angry for a short while. Such people cannot stay angry with their partner for a long time. If both partners are cold hearted and remain angry for long then there is a danger that if one finds what the other say bad and hurtful then for lifelong there will be coldness between the two. The husband has to deal in his everyday life with difficulties earning a living, good and bad interactions with people around, the pressures from the society and mental exertions. On the other hand, the wife faces difficulty in managing the house with less money, lesser resources for children and their food, clothes and education, and their future planning. Hence when a loyal wife complains to her husband that he has never talked to her in a romantic way then the husband often thinks that he has many other tensions and grief from the office to worry him. now imagine if the wife persistently keeps bugging him about this then the husband already stressed out about the work and his job will naturally become cold and indifferent towards her. Similarly if the wife is working outside home and the husband feels like the wife does not give enough time to him after coming home or is becoming ignorant of her home chores and if he complains the same to her then even she will resort to becoming silent and indifferent about it. Now it is up to both the husband and the wife that they take enough time out of their busy and stressed out lives to talk to each other with love and care. They can complain to each other teasingly with love and learn to forgive each other in this age of grief and hatred everywhere so that their married life is not impacted negatively by their individual sorrows of life.

To love and be loved is each individual’s wish. And this feeling is even stronger and expected more from each other in a married couple. That’s why husbands should give at least half to one hour in a week to seclude themselves from all the worldly problems and give time to their wives by taking them out for a walk, some outing place or a restaurant and speak their hearts out. Always remember that the environment you live in effects your mood greatly. Sitting outside the house and saying things in the spacious place outside has a greater impact and when the ambience is nice the mood becomes pleasant too. In such a scenario one can even listen to some bitter thing or reality with patience and calm. It is seen that those couples who do not go out often to spend some time together get bored of each other and become cold towards the other soon. Talking to someone with love does not take much time neither does it cost you anything but the impact of those kind words is long term. Such words release such positive energy in the body that is not seen but has a huge impact in them. There is no medicine invented yet which can erase the coldness between couples but it is said that when you speak well to your wife you save yourself from the doctor’s fees and good words spoken in a healthy environment can change the whole condition. Whether it is a man or a woman, all happen to be very selfish by nature. Husband will think the wife is very insensitive and vice versa. If these two accept and believe that the other person is also a living thing and is made of emotions as well, then trouble can be avoided. This truth should be realized by those complaining of cold hearted spouses and if they act upon this then their Complain will be solved.