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Secrets of making good relations with in laws

Ubqari Magazine - September 2013

By Shoaib Ahmed, Multan

It is often witnessed that parents show more affection towards their daughter than their son in law who feels himself as stranger between wife and her parents

He was a poor man and used to work at a farm. Fortunately, he got married to a girl of rich family. The mother of girl used to dislike him due to poor standard and showed her hate openly for her son in law. The man was unable to manage a separate home for their daughter due to which he was compelled to live in his wife’s home for 30 to 32 years. After that the couple went to Kansas city and from there the destiny of the man took a turn and he became resident of White House. This poor man was Harry Trumen, President of United States, but his mother in law did not stop chasing him here too. She used to rule him here too as once his daughter narrated the condition of his father in the hand of her grandmother saying “it was a huge burden on my father but he faced it with patience only due to his love for my mother.”

Popular politician and Prime Minister of England Winston Churchill is known to everyone. When he got married, soon after the honey moon, his wife knew that she was not only married to Churchill but she was also married to his dominating mother because without the will of his mother, it was not possible to even decorate the house. The couple faced the wars of in laws with lots of patience.

We are living mostly in joint family system which is considered as a way of increasing love and affection with the family but if the situation is reviewed today 90 percent of marital life issues are not related to couple only but they are due to interruption of in laws in their personal matters.

It is a fact that our society is based on different classe; lower class, middle class and upper class. Every class has their jealousies, conflicts and difficult natures connected to in-laws that continue throughout their life even after their death. Even husband and wife do not get a chance to understand each other mentally and spiritually throughout their life. For having their generation, they share physical relations but still they live far from each other mentally. They are strangers even after having the status of life partners.

Both of them have their own sympathies, interests and affiliations with their families that remains hovering over their relations.

It is often witnessed that parents show more affection towards their daughter than their son in law who feels himself as stranger between wife and her parents. He feels about their attitude and that results in affecting the relationship between husband and wife. Parents should think that their daughter is their daughter and instead of paying attention towards her, they should also think about their son in law who will then consider them as his own relatives. Wife can also take effective steps for resolving this tension of her husband by telling her parents about their attitude and ways to improve it for ultimately improving their relationship.

Sometimes, wife belongs to settled family and her parents give her different types of gifts but ignore her husband and sometimes, if wife offers something to her husband from those gifts, then they also mind it. Such kind of one sided attitude also creates trouble in relationship of husband and wife.

Parents should think that if they want to send gifts to their daughter, then they should send gifts to both of them to create a balance between them and in case of sending gifts to only their daughter, the wife should not accept the gifts.

Sometimes, the mother in law keeps a strict eye on purchasing of her daughter in law and pass comments on her that creates trouble in relationship of husband and wife. For dealing with this issue, the daughter-in-law should admire her mother-in-law on her purchasing and show her that she is perfect in doing every kind of work, due to which the mother in law will stay pleased with her daughter in law and stop undue commenting on her.

Some couples prefer to live with their in laws for taking care of their children and stay busy in their business. Remember, both of these steps will create nuisance in your personal lives.

For creating better relations with in laws, try to make good relations with them before marriage and set the names for calling them with love and care. Try to understand and know about your in-laws before marriage to avoid the insults after marriage.

 

Getting rid of diseases after 40 years of age

 

A healthy man when reaches to the age of 40 years, he/she get rid of the following diseases, Leprosy, madness. (Principal R. Ghulam Qadir Haraaj)

 

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