We have been listening since centuries that marriages are made in heavens. This is true but due to lack of knowledge of future, sometime we get miss led. Disagreements between husband and wife are the story of this fraud.
Mental understating is essential for successful marriage. For example I knew Harm very well, she was a girl from city, from every aspect, modern thinking, modern clothes and modern life…her lifestyle was very modern.
I have self-confidence:We were astonished When we heard that Harm’s marriage is fixed with a boy from small city in fact we were worried because by this we came to knew that here marriage is against her wish we had another worry that will Harm be able to cope up with that family because they were from a small city and their lifestyle will be completely different. All of us friends went to Harm’s home. There we came to know that this marriage was fixed by her grandmother. I said Harm: Harm! It isn’t bad marrying on family’s wish in fact it is very good, but reality is this that he has been brought up in small city where as you are from Karachi. He and his family’s thinking and traditions are completely different where as you are a modern girl how will you cope up??? “I will” she smiled, “I have confidence on myself. I will make him modern like myself” I smiled on her self-confidence.
All that self-confidence flew away:There is no doubt that Harm was very beautiful, smart, had dressing sense and she very well knew how to talk. She had a lot of attraction by which she could easily persuade anyone. I have seen experienced shop keepers become helpless infront of her. Once I bought something from a shop that was defaulted;Harm took that packet from me and immediately went to that shop and returned it to that shopkeeper. Innocent shopkeeper couldn’t refuse her. That’s why her self-confidence was valid that she will make her in-laws like herself but…! It couldn’t happen. Harm got married and after few days misunderstanding started among them and after six years they got separated when their child was four years old.
When we tried to inquire Harm replied while crying “he was very ignorant and stubborn, very old fashioned. I tried a lot but he refused to change.”
On the other hand her husband had a stance. “She has made our lives hell; she is always scolding us. She is always criticizing our family. She thinks that only she is intelligent in whole world. And rest of us are dumb” more reasons of disagreements revealed and we came to knew where there were some other reasons there was one major reason that Harm wanted to change her husband but it didn’t happen and all of her self-confidence was broken.
Only way to success is silence:On the other hand, I had another acquaintance. Her name was Samina. She lived a strange careless life. In beauty and smartness she was of no match to Harm. She left her education incomplete. She was very lazy. She used to tell me.” My friend I have made a rule of my life that do least work and sleep most.” Husband of such woman should have left her so early but it dint happen in fact they were leading a very happy and relax life. She smiled when I inquired about the secret of her successful marriage “Don’t ask that what planning I have to go through”. She said,” First day of marriage I convinced my husband according to my wish” But how… that’s what I am asking. She replied, “with my silence…”
Now ponder on both situations. On one side there is Harm and on the other hand there is Samina…Harm is beautiful, intelligent and smart, but she failed to change her husband, whereas Samina succeeded even though she was less beautiful and lazy. This means that girls shouldn’t try to change their in-laws. Let in-laws live as they are even if they are old fashioned and keep silence even if your mother-in-law does injustice.
Answer to this question is hidden behind this thing that why both of them wants to change each other. Why husband and wife want to change each other.
Yes if husband wants positive change in his wife. Wants to see her get promoted and wife also wants same and they are persuing this goal slowly and humbly then this can be called positive attitude. Successful couples are those who find secret qualities of their partner and nurture their qualities.
